We all picked up a few “life lessons” in school that didn’t exactly come from the textbooks. Looking back, here’s what I, Jake Ryan, actually walked away with:
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How to forge my parents’ signature. (Sorry Mom.)
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Nothing beat walking into class and seeing the A.V. cart. That was Netflix before Netflix.
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Coaches didn’t care about history class either. At least we were on the same page.
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Cursive? Totally unnecessary. Unless you’re trying to read a greeting card from Grandma.
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Substitute teacher day = field day. Perfect time for a smart mouth to shine.
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That gum under the desk? Don’t chew it. Seriously. Trust me.
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Vodka fits in a guitar case. Not my proudest discovery, but hey, it was “educational.”
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A protractor? Only used it once… and never again.
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Bring your teacher a gift… but not your pet snake. (Sorry again, Mrs. Wilson.)
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You can make the word “BOOBS” on a calculator. Honestly, my finest academic achievement.
So yeah, I may not remember the Pythagorean theorem, but I do remember the important stuff.
What’s the weirdest thing you learned in school? Drop it in the comments — let’s compare notes.
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